“Firework” by Serge Bertasius Photography image courtesy of www. FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I stand upon a mountain-top
my face raised to the sun
skirts billowing
It took so long to get here
to this pinnacle
… a plane of freedom
… a place of comfort
No more will I cower
self-doubts extinguishing confidence
No more will I conceal my true self
authenticity eradicating falsity
The hands on the clock face have moved
and my time is now.
© http://www.mypastmademe.com 2017
“Psychedelic” by dan image courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net
A kaleidescope of colours
melding,
shifting
As fluid as my thoughts,
my emotions
The rainbow is soft
beneath my feet
enveloping my consciousness
Wrapping warm shades around me
my aura becoming an Aurora
seen from other worlds
grounding me in this one.
© http://www.mypastmademe.com 2017
“Time Time” image by prozac1 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I will dream of him no more
The visions I delighted in are futile,
infused with the poison of mirage
I was the one chasing
barefoot
oblivious
And he, merely a bystander
a witness to my struggles
as I entered a forbidden land
proffering a cocktail of lies
falsities, handed to myself
Drinking the drug of illusion
fuelling the fire of imagination
When really there is nothing more from him
no electricity
no interest
and no room left in my heart for misjudgement
© mypastmademe.com 2017
View Of Mormon Row Near Jackson Wyoming by Phil_Bird courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The territory is familiar
I don’t know where the borders are
the boundaries to contain my behaviour
For the first time
I want to be a better person
reluctant to repeat old mistakes
Yet logic and emotions collide
and I want to rebel
at being constrained
Wrestle free of the boundaries,
the fences penning me in
It feels impossible to stay silent
to retain my peace
At some point I gave my power away
and I am at a loss as to how to get it back
© mypastmademe.com 2017
Shiny New Padlock On An Old Door Stock Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
filter into my adult being
Strands of negativity
that took root behind closed doors
Always the troublemaker
the target of blame
Seeking security, attention,
love.
Sour memories contradict
the happy times
The laughter, the unity
precipitating a fragmented family
Separate lives, isolated feelings
And I,
the intersecting burden and blessing,
the glue
The woman
nurturing a trapped inner child.
© mypastmademe.com 2017
“Dirty Background With Broken Heart” by fotographic1980 courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net
It was the safest place
being wrapped in your arms …
I can still feel the touch of your skin,
the warmth of your embrace
All those precious moments now lost,
bleeding from my heart,
the searing recognition of what I once had
Crippling pain,
regret and guilt suffocating
Never to hear your laugh again,
or look into those bright blue eyes,
hear your voice soften as you reassure,
so blind to the gift that was right in front of me.
Eternally sorry,
I am broken
without you,
my love.
©mypastmademe.com 2016
“Heart” by graur codrin courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I can feel my heart hardening again
frosting over
the shards of ice melding together
Frozen solid
the construction of an impenetrable fortress building
once again
No more do I dream of knights and saviours
eyes wide open, surveying instead
the players
the disillusioned
It doesn’t serve to be open
in affairs of the heart
My honesty a toxic poison
Better to remain concealed:
The Dreamer.
There is safety in dreams
and pain in the reality of being ‘too much’.
©mypastmademe.com 2016
