A good egg?

As a writer, for me the biggest hurdle (at present, at least) is confidence.  In fact, I have only recently started saying to certain (close) friends that I am a writer because I have come to the conclusion that not being published does not mean I am NOT a writer.  It’s in my blood, it’s part of me, my essence … a yearning … so this is surely what I am.

I have always written poems and have no qualms in labelling myself a poet, but a writer?  When I have finally opened up and told close friends I haven’t said it in such a way that one would normally expect to announce something they love or feel compelled to do; rather, I confess it, as though it is a deep dark secret which I don’t want anyone to know about.  What am I so scared of?  Ridicule, or a friend not having faith in me?  Or should the question actually be this: what am I more afraid of, finding out that a friend doesn’t have faith in me, in my ability … or the fear that I will never have enough faith in myself to put myself out there and take criticism?  The latter has to happen in order to improve, does it not?  It’s a ‘chicken and egg’ situation, and finding out whether the yolk is bright yellow (success) takes guts.  I tell myself that one day having the courage to simply try to be successful will be my big fat sunshine yolk, no matter the outcome.

A good writer needs to be a great reader.  Yet, when I read an exceptional book, or an amazing piece of writing (like some I have found already on here) it automatically inhibits me.  I think to myself that I am not as good as them, so what is the point in me trying?  But what is becoming more clear to me day by day is that finding the courage to share will push me one step further towards believing in myself.  And besides, writing is part of me … I can’t escape it.

So … in the next few days I will start adding a short story I wrote some years ago (not my forte by any means, I feel).  Critiques will be welcomed, but go easy on me please … I’m a first timer 🙂

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

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2 responses to “A good egg?

  1. I will solve the mystery of the chicken and the egg right now for you. It was the egg that came first, and whatever laid it was not quite a chicken. What is an egg but the fragile beginnings of new life. OK enough with the cheesy analogies here, but my point is, you, like the chick, have got to start somewhere, afraid or not.

    I empathise with your thoughts on reading entries on here that seem particularly well written, it can shake your confidence a bit, I have often thought, why even bother? I am not even a patch on half these people writing here. But I am not sure whether it is a good idea to write to impress people, as opposed to just writing for yourself. What is the point if what you write is shaped by conforming to what you think people want to read? So long as what you write comes from your heart, then it will help someone, including you.

    • You are so right in what you’ve said. I have found that when I force writing I struggle and it doesn’t seem to sound like me, does that make sense? I think for a long time I was put off by the fact that I haven’t studied writing … but it’s there, and the stories I showed to people years ago generated real interest, they wanted to read more. I know I have done the right thing starting my blog because I need real, honest reactions to my work, so that I can (or not) move to the next level and start to really believe in myself. Thank you for taking the time to comment 🙂

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