This poem is ‘forced’ and I think it shows … but I wanted to join in Luna’s Poetry Month Clambake (Week 1) 🙂
The clock ticking,
the swell of my heart burdensome
as emotions spill forth
The pillow sodden,
tears absorbed, lost in the fabric
Memories flickering like a cinema reel
age 8, carefree
age 13, shy and unworldly
age 23, believing, hopeful
29, broken.
Tick tock
Time doesn’t stop
© www.mypastmademe.com 2011
Thanks Luna!
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I went ahead and posted results for week one a few hours early.
🙂
http://lunawitch15.wordpress.com/poetry-month-clambake-lets-have-some-fun/
Luna
Hooray, will have a look-see 🙂
lovely.
Thank you Jingle 🙂
I have to agree with everyone else.
It did not seem forced, it was well constructed
and deeply filled with meaning.
Sometimes they just ‘Stop’ for me as well, and no matter how hard I try it refuses to go any farther.
That’s when I yell at it and say fine be that way! I guess you are done than!
Our poems know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. 🙂
I am so glad that you entered in week one. care for week two?
Thank you!
Luna
Hi Luna, thanks for your comments. Funny you saying our poems know us better than we know ourselves sometimes … I’ve never thought about it like that, but yes gut feeling said STOP! Yes, I’ll be back for week 2 for sure … the next one’s for the Clambake 🙂
Next time I want to see you write
30
Stronger and wiser 🙂
bless you .. this was heartfelt lines !
Yes it was strange to write that and not know where it was going, then it stopped so abruptly (or so it seemed to me), but it would have been wrong to add anything. There have been a few years (won’t say how many, lol) since 29, but what I’ll post shortly reflects where I am now … and it’s a good place 🙂 Thank you
“…Memories flickering like a cinema reel
age 8, carefree
age 13, shy and unworldly
age 23, believing, hopeful
29, broken.” – that was the bit I rather liked. The image of the flicking cinema reel is very nice indeed. And I think I related very much to “29, broken.” Sigh.
Thank you … and I’m sorry to hear you could relate to 29, broken 😦 However, the good news is that for me, that was a long time ago now and I’m completely whole, as I hope you are too 🙂 The terrible times make us stronger, and the strength I found at 29 has helped me through tough times these past few years. I’ve just written something (will post shortly) which reflects where I am now. Btw, I had subscribed to your blog but last night all my subs had disappeared! Don’t know if it was a glitch, but if somehow it’s deleted, be assured I’ll be re-subscribing in a few minutes. No idea why/how that happened!!
I thought your poem was rather lovely, and not forced at all. If you don’t tell, no one will ever know that you were concerned. Just give it a go and see what people think.
Thank you … just not used to sitting down and deliberately writing a poem. Usually it flows when it’s ready. 🙂
I really enjoyed this poem and didn’t think it seemed ‘forced’ at all.
Thank you … it did feel forced though. I normally write something when it just floods in my head or I’m upset, but wasn’t sure about this one. Was pleased with the title though! 🙂
Excellent post thanks for sharing this. I enjoy reading your blog very much. Reading poems is something I truly enjoy. It’s very relaxing and soothing.
Raining Purple Rain – Haiku Poem
Thank you for your positive comments. I liked your poem 🙂