Far from calm

It’s been an emotional week and I have been far from calm, hence this posting and a couple of others … a flurry of activity from pen and mind   🙂

He comes with the darkness

  when the vapours of calm

  are sucked away

and I am left in a vacuum

  of nothing

He storms within me

  a tsunami of rage

  that I have to fight to quell

The waves are borne of anger, hurt, confusion

  and they froth at my mouth

  pick at my soul

I don’t understand

  why these things happen

but I don’t question,

  I don’t regret,

  I don’t pity

For I am blessed

I am loved

I am whole

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

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4 responses to “Far from calm

  1. I wonder what is going on this piece of writing. Is it about someone who bows the will of someone else in exchange for what is perceived as love? Even though it is a veritable cage that forbids her the freedom of her expression? To speak out against his “storm” or “tsunami”, for all the destruction he causes?

    • Truth? The anger is at myself for being angry. As we all do, we hit out (verbally only in my case, but that’s bad enough) at those we love, those who love us … and then the remorse and guilt come, and then the frustration that I’m walking in treacle. Is this making any sense? Once upon a time I would have written about the rage inflicted upon me by someone else … these days it’s within me (not often, but sometimes), although I think one has caused/contributed to the other. Mostly my life these days is very calm 🙂

      • I harbor a lot of anger inside me. It used to be aimed at others, victimized by circumstance beyond my control. Now that anger has begun to provide structure. It has helped me and motivated me to make necessary, yet painful chnages in my life. I am at peace with it somehow. I can remain calm and grounded. Anger is not a beast, but rather a true motivator. I am a writer, stuck for a long time, but free now to begin again. Your poetry is beautiful and has inspired me to share my own. Today I will share a poem on my blog. I hope that you will take a look at it and perhaps even leave some feedback. It is frightening to open yourself up to the world, but in opening up we allow ouselves to become whole again.
        I will follow, glad to find you here. Keep writing! Thanks!
        Jenni
        http://www.diaryofadogbiscuit.blogspot.com
        http://www.jennigetsit.wordpress.com

      • Oh my goodness, I am so flattered at your comments (thank you so much!) and so pleased I inspired you … I am somewhat blown away!! I will look at your blog in a moment. I was very frightened when I started my blog, and there is comfort in anonymity for me which in itself shows the fear of laying myself bare to the world … but always moving forward, always growing, and forever trying not to let the fear of negativity inhibit my sharing/expression. I look forward to reading. Thank you for visiting! 🙂

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