White Snow, Black Heart

Berry Snow Heart by Tina Phillips/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mirror, mirror on the wall

  who is the ugliest one of all?

I am.

For all the times

  my mouth has released words

  that should have remained caged

For the hours, days, months

  when I wallowed, weakened,

  lost myself

  Drowned.

For the moments

  when I can’t see or hear others

  because I’m too absorbed with myself

For all the things

  I still have not corrected

I am.

˜˜˜

Mirror, mirror on the wall

  who is the most beautiful one of all?

I am.

For all the times

  I have found the strength to smile

  while my heart was breaking

For the hours, days, months

  that I know I suffered

  and survived

  Swam.

For the moments

  when I am not oblivious to the beauty in this world

  Trees.  Flowers.  Birdsong.

For all the things

  that I am and know I can be

I am.

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

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4 responses to “White Snow, Black Heart

  1. there’s a lot of sadness in the voice of many of these poems, that very often suddenly changes into something uplifting. It can be disconcerting, like hearing a sad song that turns positive at the chorus.

    • You have described the very cycle which is currently frustrating me so much … the poems I have posted are a mixture, some from about 11 or 12 years ago, a very dark time for me, then a few from years later (my writing became sporadic), then some from the last 2 years when I’ve had major obstacles to overcome, although surviving my past (what a strange thing to type, but I will leave it in) made me strong enough to get through the last couple of years. In recent months I have felt so content, so happy, but then – like a rollercoaster – the track suddenly drops and I sink again. I think the time has come to find the path of self fulfillment, correct things in me (I don’t know how else to put it, since it’s how I feel) and be the person I know I can be, the person I know I am. I have found my blog to be a great release, and am very slowly starting to open up … maybe you don’t see it, but I am 🙂 Thanks for commenting, can’t believe you have described my current state of mind!

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