Alice in Dangerland

When did the ground start to open again?

  the black shadow darkness

  looming like a noose

How did I miss the sign

  telling me to stop

  before I fall?

Have I fallen yet?

Or am I standing on the edge

  of the abyss?

Nothing is falling past me,

  no clocks or rabbits

so I must still be safe

Yet danger is hugging me

  and sadness is choking me

Shall I just take the next step anyway?

  to feel the expectant relief

  of failure and stillness?

It feels harder to stand

  on the edge right now

When did I lose myself?

  and why is my soul fighting

  being found?

The answers are always the same

But the questions are forever changing

I’m so tired of it

Tired of myself



© www.mypastmademe 2011


2 responses to “Alice in Dangerland

  1. great title!
    I can really understand those last few lines. It is so deeply tiring, finding ourselves caught up in a ceaseless cycle of personal pain, with no absolution in sight. And it gets tiring, trying to convince everyone else that all is ok.
    I do believe sometimes we just have to give in a little to it, rather than try to avoid feeling this way. Otherwise it just collects under the surface, eating us up, we’ll never be able to shake it off. I know there are so many who would disagree with me on that though!

    • I’m totally with you on that! At the moment I’m struggling between releasing emotions when I’m able to be alone (basically having a good cry!) and then putting a smile on my face and carrying on. I know everything will be okay, I know I’ve made all the right decisions for once, but the hurt is there and will be for a while. Because of experiences in my distant past I am a firm believer in letting the negative emotions out (within reason), otherwise it just takes root deep down and festers. I have reiki healing when I can so I feel I have help in many ways. The title … I was pretty darn pleased with that one! 🙂

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