A brief falter.


Heart Apple by Clare Bloomfield/FreeDigitalPhotos.net



I have drifted off the path …

  looking for answers in others again,

but I know you will forgive me.

Because you know what the outcome will be.

And so do I.

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011



Love by Salvatore Vuono/FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Splintered.  My Family.  My Heart.

One piece wanting to leave regularly …

and I am not whole until she boomerangs home again.


Two responses: one of sorrow … that it was not supposed to be like this,

and one of knowing that I need to fulfill my life so that it does not hurt so much.



© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

Willy Wonka’s Protégé

Pain.  Tears.  Horror.  Shock.  Heartbreak.  Sadness.  Joy.  Humiliation.  Embarrassment.  Disappointment.  Confusion.  Loneliness.  Anger.  Wrath.  Scorn.  Worry.  Fear.  Jealousy.  Hatred.  Disgust.  Loathing.  Love.  Lies.

These are the words of my distant past.

I then found new words, mixed in with some old ones:

Adulation.  Jealousy.  Love.  Lust.  Lies.  Confusion.  Joy.  Safety.  Happiness.  Sadness.  Disappointment.  Spontaneous.  Surprising.  Forever.  Sexy.  Loveable.  Appreciated.  Grateful.  Beautiful.

but I had to delete the most important one: 


Now I have a new dictionary and these are my words:

Content.  Happy.  Free.  Loved.  Appreciated.  Responsible.  Eternal.  Successful.  Mother.  Fulfilled.

I am the master of my own destiny.

I am the dreamer of dreams*.

* Willy Wonka: We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.


At a routine hospital appointment today, the lady treating me said, “It must be really hard for you, not having your soulmate …”

I realise now that she was sympathising with the fact that my soulmate and I are not together any more.  But my immediate thought when she said it was I haven’t found him yet.

So this is perhaps proof that I still believe … isn’t it?