An honest deception.

Starry Night Dark Blue by nuttakit/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I deceive my mind.

I am not lonely, I say.

I am content.  Happy.

And this is true,

but it does not mean

that in the quiet of the night

when my babes are sleeping

and I lie still, pondering my thoughts,

that my skin does not scream for his touch,

that I can stop myself imagining

  the feel of his arms around me,

  the heat of his body next to mine,

  the taste of his lips,

  and the whisper of his voice.

He is faceless, this destiny of mine,

yet he leaves me wanting.

And waiting.

I know he will find me.

When the time is right, I will recognise his face.

A long time from now.

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

One Day.

One day he will find me

Puzzle Nature by Danilo Rizzuti/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  and the missing piece will fit.

I will be swathed in love

  and bathed in light.

He will lie next to me

  staring at me while I sleep.

He will put his hand on my heart

  and feel the beat of his own.

My flaws will pale into oblivion

  because he will accept and cherish me.

  He won’t notice them, won’t care.

He will look into my eyes,

  tell me he loves me

  and he will mean it with every fibre of his being.

He will bring laughter to my life,

  serenity to my soul

  and joy to my heart

One day.

In my imagination?

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

♥♥

At a routine hospital appointment today, the lady treating me said, “It must be really hard for you, not having your soulmate …”

I realise now that she was sympathising with the fact that my soulmate and I are not together any more.  But my immediate thought when she said it was I haven’t found him yet.

So this is perhaps proof that I still believe … isn’t it?

Believe

I once saw a carpet of cloud

  and I soared like a bird

The wind beneath me

My heart in my mouth.

I once spied the sun through the trees

  and I smiled

The warmth on my face

  a heat in my heart.

Today I can feel the mist lifting

Freeing my soul

Chaining my fear

Belief in tomorrow looms

I am scared to believe.

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011