Knife In Blood by Simon Howden/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The blade keeps plunging,
sinking deeper into my back.
My instincts are right,
the sting of betrayal is nigh.
When did I venture into the lion’s den?
© www.mypastmademe.com 2012
Wonderland by Evgeni Dinev/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I see the questions
in the weighted, charcoal sky.
The answers whisper to me
from the soft earth.
I feel the criticisms in the cold wind,
stinging my face.
Praise falls on me in the raindrops,
soothing my skin.
I sense them talking about me,
their betrayal a circle of fire.
My open heart emits forgiveness,
their weakness something to pity.
Regret is not a pill I wish to swallow,
nor a brooch to pin upon my coat.
Hope.
Hope is a fragrant flower,
a blessing,
a child’s kiss.
The future.
© www.mypastmademe.com 2011
A rare rhymed poem … (old)
˜˜˜
Why is it so hard to tell the truth?
so much easier than inflicting emotional abuse
Honest I’ve always been
and honest I’ll stay
But maybe that’s why
I’m feeling this way
Forever the fool, to comfort and help,
being stepped on and squashed,
but never a yelp
Just when I thought
we were getting somewhere
I find myself dejected
and struggling with what’s fair
Why can’t he see
that trust is so fragile?
Quickly broken,
and earned back in miles
made of the thinnest glass
and of the clearest colour
Once it is broken,
it couldn’t be duller
And if it smashes
it takes forever to build
Pain and tears
and feelings killed
So where do I start with it?
What do I do?
How can we ever start anew?
Or is it time to say “it’s done”?
We tried togetherness,
tried to be one
And it’s not me who let
the glass ball drop
Once he told one lie,
he couldn’t stop
So I’m stood at the crossroads,
and the signs are unclear
Hard to read
through all the tears
Should I give one more chance,
give him the best of me?
I’ve spent so long believing
that he’s my destiny
So I sit here and write,
waiting for a sign
Please, oh please
come and tell me you’re mine!
And that there’ll be no more fabrications,
no more lies to undo
Because all I’ve ever wanted
is you
© www.mypastmademe.com 2011
When did the ground start to open again?
the black shadow darkness
looming like a noose
How did I miss the sign
telling me to stop
before I fall?
Have I fallen yet?
Or am I standing on the edge
of the abyss?
Nothing is falling past me,
no clocks or rabbits
so I must still be safe
Yet danger is hugging me
and sadness is choking me
Shall I just take the next step anyway?
to feel the expectant relief
of failure and stillness?
It feels harder to stand
on the edge right now
When did I lose myself?
and why is my soul fighting
being found?
The answers are always the same
But the questions are forever changing
I’m so tired of it
Tired of myself
Lost.
Again.
© www.mypastmademe 2011
Full Moon Over Water by Exsodus/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Foolish, foolish heart of mine
so willing to fall, so blind
Gentle he was when it suited
hiding behind a mask
The lies thick as the dead night
And somewhere on a moonlit pond
lies my shattered heart
my broken dreams
and the loss of all that I thought I had
So now the tears fall
© www.mypastmademe.com 2011
