Unforeseen Diversion

"Stairs" Image courtesy of Adam Hickmott at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Stairs” image courtesy of Adam Hickmott at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

It was an unknown fragility

paper thin,

a crisp leaf underfoot

Growing up behind a gossamer veil

indiscernible,

masking my weaknesses

Now torn, a gaping hole

clarity abounds

with bitter obviosity

So I am left the fool.

My self-perception cradled

in the palm of my hand.

The facets of my personality

unknowingly attributed to something else.

My inner monologue shifting

between vitriolic criticism

and soothing compassion.

Pity is shunned

in the wake of a new freedom

discovering that I was on the underpass,

prevented from reaching the surface

where I now stand:

vulnerable

resilient

authentic.

My true self.

© mypastmademe.com 2015

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Nature’s warmth

Sunflower by patrisyu courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Sunflower by patrisyu courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

The fragrance of freedom

all enveloping

as I sit and absorb

the furls of summer

the fronds of a lightened season

The heavy curtains of winter

drawn back

fixed to let the light in

Windows open

  of the mind

  of the heart

to evacuate negativity

Its smoky vapours disappearing

chased away

by this welcome chapter

breathing life into long, hazy days

© mypastmademe.com 2014

Essence

Splash Green by Idea go/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A mist descends

soft blanket of calm

Quelling the sadness

filling the void

Smiles step forth

The reins of seriousness are cut

Memories of carefree times

body succumbing to music

My form found

One foot planted

in a field of responsibility,

the other

longing for freedom

a splash of it

just sometimes

so I don’t forget

how to be me

© www.mypastmademe.com 2012

Rise up

In my old life, my past,

  I was buried

My soul was attacked

  and my spirit knifed

I wore sadness like a crown

  and walked alone

  to the music of futility

And I sometimes do still hurt

Most of my life given to the wrong person

who occasionally made me smile

  but mostly made me bleed

I feel like I’ve climbed mountains

  covered with snow and ice

  slipping down more often than not

Before finally reaching the top

where I could sit and peacefully view

  the broken pictures of my teenage years

  the cracked glass images of my twenties

The tears fell for a long time

  my knees damp with the swell of self pity

Until I remembered to stand

Rise up, with my head back

  and shoulders to the sky

And something inside reminded me

  to start smiling again

The tiny spark of hope told me I’d been alive

  but never lived

And now I do live

Even though there are a few more mountains to climb

  they are low and friendly

with hands outstretched

  to help me on my way

and silk-like tissues to dab away my tears

  when they come

And at the top of each mountain sits a huge mirror

  with the most vivid reflections I’ve ever seen

Showing the image of a woman who broke free

  who took the pain and chose the hard option

I am beautiful inside and out

And I’ve found the one to appreciate it

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011