The Heart’s Ruse.

Digital Background by dream designs

Digital Background by dream designs courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes we are so desperate to forgive

that the mind succeeds

but the heart unknowingly stalls

It is an illusion of forgiveness.

A spiteful, cruel, malicious trick

so that when your gift has gone

you are left empty

because the dam bursts

after the target has evaporated.

No more comfort

No more sharing

No more oneness

Left with the true meaning of

Alone.

©mypastmademe.com 2016

Spurious Barricade.

Art Background by smokedsalmon

Art Background by smokedsalmon courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The swell of grief entombs me

traps my spirit

caged

crushed.

When I smile

guilt soaks me

the sting of tears mocking.

A barrage of realisations,

revealing what I let die

the beauty I suffocated

in my eagerness to be free.

Except I never asked for my freedom …

you chose it

and then I locked you out.

All my promises of love

washed away by my own selfishness.

So now regret consumes me

and my only reason to carry on

is the legacy you left.

How I wish you hadn’t

left me.

©mypastmademe.com 2016

 

 

You

You

You have lit the flame again

  glowing pale blue and orange

  heating my heart

    and melting the ice

You

With your simple ideals

  and complicated past

  mirroring my own

  connected by pain

You

A comedian, a friend

  unassuming and innocent

  as unreachable as the moon

You

I have to thank

  even when the guilt descends

  even when the tears will come

You

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

Permission

Butterflies rampant,

  plumes exploding

My head fighting my heart

  my heart fooling everyone

Just a taste,

  a glimmer?

Is that allowed?

The nonsense makes no sense

Nothing adding up

Which way to turn,

  how much more to suffer?

Guilt is waiting again

To abandon, to desert

  to rot under a blanket of woe

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011