A good egg?

As a writer, for me the biggest hurdle (at present, at least) is confidence.  In fact, I have only recently started saying to certain (close) friends that I am a writer because I have come to the conclusion that not being published does not mean I am NOT a writer.  It’s in my blood, it’s part of me, my essence … a yearning … so this is surely what I am.

I have always written poems and have no qualms in labelling myself a poet, but a writer?  When I have finally opened up and told close friends I haven’t said it in such a way that one would normally expect to announce something they love or feel compelled to do; rather, I confess it, as though it is a deep dark secret which I don’t want anyone to know about.  What am I so scared of?  Ridicule, or a friend not having faith in me?  Or should the question actually be this: what am I more afraid of, finding out that a friend doesn’t have faith in me, in my ability … or the fear that I will never have enough faith in myself to put myself out there and take criticism?  The latter has to happen in order to improve, does it not?  It’s a ‘chicken and egg’ situation, and finding out whether the yolk is bright yellow (success) takes guts.  I tell myself that one day having the courage to simply try to be successful will be my big fat sunshine yolk, no matter the outcome.

A good writer needs to be a great reader.  Yet, when I read an exceptional book, or an amazing piece of writing (like some I have found already on here) it automatically inhibits me.  I think to myself that I am not as good as them, so what is the point in me trying?  But what is becoming more clear to me day by day is that finding the courage to share will push me one step further towards believing in myself.  And besides, writing is part of me … I can’t escape it.

So … in the next few days I will start adding a short story I wrote some years ago (not my forte by any means, I feel).  Critiques will be welcomed, but go easy on me please … I’m a first timer 🙂

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