Spurious Barricade.

Art Background by smokedsalmon

Art Background by smokedsalmon courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The swell of grief entombs me

traps my spirit

caged

crushed.

When I smile

guilt soaks me

the sting of tears mocking.

A barrage of realisations,

revealing what I let die

the beauty I suffocated

in my eagerness to be free.

Except I never asked for my freedom …

you chose it

and then I locked you out.

All my promises of love

washed away by my own selfishness.

So now regret consumes me

and my only reason to carry on

is the legacy you left.

How I wish you hadn’t

left me.

©mypastmademe.com 2016

 

 

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Futile rupture

Broken Heart Sign, Loss Of Love Concept by cuteimage

Broken Heart Sign, Loss Of Love Concept by cuteimage courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have waded through problems

Trudged forwards

for years

Shining at times,

illuminated by my determination

Gilded with hope for a future

without pain

Buried my love for you

shielded my heart

bound it tightly

… so even those 3 words

couldn’t break it open

Then one morning

the phone call

And my heart shattered.

The love ruptured

pouring from the depths of my being

with nowhere to go

Such a blind, selfish fool

I was

Now wracked with guilt

Ravaged by regret

You were my beacon all along

My love.

My soulmate.

My loss.

©mypastmademe.com 2016

Perpetual absorption

Smoke On The Black Background by foto76

Smoke On The Black Background by foto76 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You are in my mind

and all around me,

a translucent vapour.

My wreath of obsession.

Encircling,

settling,

consuming.

I want to keep you there:

nested,

within reach.

Until I face my fears

and draw you near.

©mypastmademe.com 2016

 

 

 

Fatal Recognition

Images bombard me,

plumes of butterflies

whenever I see

your beautiful face

All day long

The fear evaporated,

obstacles pushed away

knowing the inevitable truth

Drinking in every encounter,

awash with certainty

Breathless with anticipation

I yield.

© mypastmademe.com 2015

Entranced

The energy has shifted,

my defences down,

revealing something of my true self.

Finally.

I am alive when I think of you,

yearning to lay beside you,

listen to the story of your life,

soothed by the lilt of your voice,

transfixed by those amber eyes,

lifted by the strength emanating from you,

protected in a way I have never known before.

You still and awaken me

simultaneously.

I am left powerless,

the allure enveloping,

the endearment of your quiet vulnerability

consuming.

It is only a matter of time

and I no longer wish to run.

© mypastmademe.com 2015

 

 

 

Embryonic Recognition

"Romantic book" image by dan courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Romantic book” image by dan courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have tried to keep the door shut

but your eyes have wedged it open

Pools of beauty,

drawing me in

I see right through you

My transparency probably equal

My will to run,

to resist,

much greater

Angst about disruption

disorder

chaos

Fear of hurt,

everything that could go wrong

a barricade to all that might be perfect

Yet there is a song in my heart

placed there by you

So whilst the ending is unknown

and the beginning is in question

I cannot deny

that with you

there is a story waiting to be told.

© mypastmademe.com 2014

Peaceful infusion

Heart Shaped Cloud by tokyoboy courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Heart Shaped Cloud by tokyoboy courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

The once fervent grasp

  beseeching

  searching

has loosened.

Wilted by the sun

drained of vigour

diminished.

The focus turns to self

  diffused of anger

  infused with peace

  bemused at the past.

The predatory pain quashed

leaving my heart free

and my dreams alive.

© mypastmademe.com 2014