Inescapable unfurling.

%22Pink Plumeria%22 by rakratchada torsap

“Pink Plumeria” by rakratchada torsap courtesy of

It’s too late!

The emotions have taken hold,

the connection solidified

and I am doomed.

This time there is no door to shut

there is only openness

Inexplicable ease


With no idea or sense of any reciprocation

I will now have to mask what is blossoming

So unexpected

and utterly inescapable.

I never meant for the flowers to bloom …

the petals unfurling

for you.

© 2016



I can feel the burgeoning swell in my chest

%22Input%22 by Idea go

“Input” by Idea go courtesy of

an expansion

making room for you

amidst my grief

A longing has surfaced



a door opened in my mind

the gateway to my heart

Tears threaten

wondering what will be

whether futility will mock

so I cling to signs

Symbols of mutual feeling

where there might be none

since you grieve too

Wondering if this knowing

resides only in my imagination

Awoken by the complete trust

fearful that I’m already falling

Hopeful that you feel it too

If not now, then one day


© 2016


Celestial Wishes.

Spirit by dan

“Spirit” by dan courtesy of


My love,

May you brighten up the velvet nights

a diamond amongst the stars.

May you paint magnificent rainbows

as you watch us from afar.

May you know I would do anything just for one more day,

I still have so much to tell you, so much more I need to say.

May you still remember the best of me,

may you somehow know the truth.

May you feel the neverending love

we will always have for you.

May we feel you stand beside us

seeing you without sight

May you share in the joy you gave us,

our beacon, our guiding light.

May you realise I still loved you,

always will, my precious soul

… that the words were said inside my head

… that you still made me whole

May you know I am lost without you,

my love, my dear, my sweet,

my heart now barely beating …

each day the greatest feat.

May you feel my thanks, my gratitude

for everything we shared

we packed so much in those few years

I still deeply loved and cared.

May you soar like an eagle,

my beautiful, innocent man,

not feel any sorrow or worry

… I’ll do the best I can.

May you walk alongside our children

feel their laughter, stem their tears,

guide them, love them, watch them

give them comfort through their fears.

May you always know the truth

of the feelings I still held for you,

that if I’d recognised my stubbornness

I’d have rushed to start anew.

Oh my love, I feel so broken

You are no longer here

So many things we went through,

now everything is clear.

Life, it overtook us,

clouded up our view;

something once so precious and perfect

took on a rusty hue.

We let our love escape, but you found it within again

yet I selfishly denied my own

fearful, too proud  … and then

God took you

and destroyed me

I’ll never understand.

And it was only then I realised

that you’d always held my hand.

© 2016


Eternal coupling.

Hearts Chained Forever by Danilo Rizzuti

Hearts Chained Forever by Danilo Rizzuti courtesy of

I will be chained to you for eternity

a glistening trail of links

attaching me to you

so that your name,

your voice,

your love,

your essence

is imprinted upon my heart.

Each tear a tribute to you,

each day a remembrance of you.

Infinitely yours

Finitely broken

God help me.

© 2016



Perpetual absorption

Smoke On The Black Background by foto76

Smoke On The Black Background by foto76 courtesy of

You are in my mind

and all around me,

a translucent vapour.

My wreath of obsession.




I want to keep you there:


within reach.

Until I face my fears

and draw you near.

© 2016




Fatal Recognition

Images bombard me,

plumes of butterflies

whenever I see

your beautiful face

All day long

The fear evaporated,

obstacles pushed away

knowing the inevitable truth

Drinking in every encounter,

awash with certainty

Breathless with anticipation

I yield.

© 2015


The energy has shifted,

my defences down,

revealing something of my true self.


I am alive when I think of you,

yearning to lay beside you,

listen to the story of your life,

soothed by the lilt of your voice,

transfixed by those amber eyes,

lifted by the strength emanating from you,

protected in a way I have never known before.

You still and awaken me


I am left powerless,

the allure enveloping,

the endearment of your quiet vulnerability


It is only a matter of time

and I no longer wish to run.

© 2015




Pinball denial

Standing Out Metallic Balls Shows Leadership by Stuart Miles courtesy of

Standing Out Metallic Balls Shows Leadership by Stuart Miles courtesy of

You filter in and out of my dreams

Soft-focus images just beyond my grasp

The signs I asked for only confused

A metal ball rolling around

I smack against the hard walls

crack my armour, bruise my core

Was the visual image misleading?

Seeking external perfection

when really the gold lies within,

the shining heart

shafts of truth and loyalty

bursts of protection

Hands outstretched,

but help is not needed

just my company desired

my smile, my being

Please reach out to me

For I don’t recognise you …

(Written in 2012)
© 2014

Mortal Saviour

Texture of Sand by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of

Texture of Sand by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of


In my rush to find you
Are you standing right before me?
Will your energies yield to mine when we meet?
Will the depth of your eyes melt my armour?
Your gaze transcend our surroundings?
Lifting me from this desolate space
where day moulds to day
and the lists grow longer
Responsibilities suffocating
Aspirations contracting
Guilt and selfishness consuming
Where are you, my love?

(Written in 2012)
© 2014