Fog.

Red Wall Canyon by Evgeni Dinev/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cloud of doubt expands,

thickens

suffocating all sense,

all instinct

Questions barb into my mind

piercing

hurting

Confidence dissipating

Self-assurance seeping away

into the pit

of my bottomless heart

© www.mypastmademe.com 2012

 

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Lasso of Love

Mother Kissing Her Daughter by David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let me kiss away the pain,

my dear

It will leave you,

have no fear

Your sweet smile,

cherubic face

Sadness clouding your eyes

like lace

White Dove by Matt Banks/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let me lift away your sorrow,

my love

Watch it fly,

a snow-white dove

Your small hands,

eyes full of hope

My love lassoes you,

a gilt-edged rope

Heart Shape by thanunkorn/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

© www.mypastmademe.com 2012

Truth or Done

A rare rhymed poem … (old)

˜˜˜

Why is it so hard to tell the truth?

  so much easier than inflicting emotional abuse

Honest I’ve always been

  and honest I’ll stay

But maybe that’s why

  I’m feeling this way

Forever the fool, to comfort and help,

  being stepped on and squashed,

  but never a yelp

Just when I thought

  we were getting somewhere

I find myself dejected

  and struggling with what’s fair

Why can’t he see

  that trust is so fragile?

Quickly broken,

  and earned back in miles

made of the thinnest glass

  and of the clearest colour

Once it is broken,

  it couldn’t be duller

And if it smashes

  it takes forever to build

Pain and tears

  and feelings killed

So where do I start with it?

  What do I do?

  How can we ever start anew?

Or is it time to say “it’s done”?

We tried togetherness,

  tried to be one

And it’s not me who let

  the glass ball drop

Once he told one lie,

  he couldn’t stop

So I’m stood at the crossroads,

  and the signs are unclear

Hard to read

  through all the tears

Should I give one more chance,

  give him the best of me?

I’ve spent so long believing

  that he’s my destiny

So I sit here and write,

  waiting for a sign

Please, oh please

  come and tell me you’re mine!

And that there’ll be no more fabrications,

  no more lies to undo

Because all I’ve ever wanted

  is you

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

Alice in Dangerland

When did the ground start to open again?

  the black shadow darkness

  looming like a noose

How did I miss the sign

  telling me to stop

  before I fall?

Have I fallen yet?

Or am I standing on the edge

  of the abyss?

Nothing is falling past me,

  no clocks or rabbits

so I must still be safe

Yet danger is hugging me

  and sadness is choking me

Shall I just take the next step anyway?

  to feel the expectant relief

  of failure and stillness?

It feels harder to stand

  on the edge right now

When did I lose myself?

  and why is my soul fighting

  being found?

The answers are always the same

But the questions are forever changing

I’m so tired of it

Tired of myself

Lost.

Again.

© www.mypastmademe 2011

Whispers of love

So … the ol’ tear ducts have had a workout this week (a now-dead anniversary (relationship ended, nothing worse)), and the last few days I’ve had this song going through my head … you know, the sort that conjures up in your mind when you’re just driving along and you suddenly start humming, and if you’re lucky you fit words to it (I can’t remember the first words I sang, am sure they were better).  Anyway, this little paragraph will explain the repetition  🙂   The melody is, I would say, like a Celtic lullaby, in a soft voice.  It might not read well, but sounds lovely in song  🙂

Every day, every day

  you’ll hear my whisper

  every day

Down by the ocean,

  across the sea

That’s where you’ll find me,

  that’s where I’ll be

Every day, every day

  you’ll hear my whisper

  every day

My heart’s still broken,

  torn in two

Thought we’d be a lifetime,

  me and you

Every day, every day

  you’ll hear my whisper

  every day

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011

Fool

Full Moon Over Water by Exsodus/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Foolish, foolish heart of mine

  so willing to fall, so blind

Gentle he was when it suited

  hiding behind a mask

The lies thick as the dead night

And somewhere on a moonlit pond

  lies my shattered heart

  my broken dreams

  and the loss of all that I thought I had

So now the tears fall

© www.mypastmademe.com 2011