One Fine Day.

Reed by Vlado courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Reed by Vlado courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

As I sit here now

do the stars glint for me?

Shimmer their beauty

The dead night lit by diamonds

Blackness that once matched my heart

My beat, my soul

glows with love

Time shifts, a chasm before me

To step back to yesterday

A world whiled away in an instant

Or to bend … a reed folding into tomorrow

‘Tis hardest staying still

Fixed in my disillusions

Battling the desire

to have someone by my side

A protector, lover of life

of me

Arms will wrap around me

reassurance will envelop again

This purgatory will dissolve

and stoke the fires of passion

nurture that which was once broken

One fine day.

 

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Illusory Bargain

 

Blue Sapphire by Boykung courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Blue Sapphire by Boykung courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

I have said, many a time,

that I will forfeit a lifetime with you

If it guarantees the jewels of my life

Mean it, though I always do,

I end up here again

Wondering

Waiting

Wishing I could stop looking

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Pinball denial

Standing Out Metallic Balls Shows Leadership by Stuart Miles courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Standing Out Metallic Balls Shows Leadership by Stuart Miles courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

You filter in and out of my dreams

Soft-focus images just beyond my grasp

The signs I asked for only confused

A metal ball rolling around

I smack against the hard walls

crack my armour, bruise my core

Was the visual image misleading?

Seeking external perfection

when really the gold lies within,

the shining heart

shafts of truth and loyalty

bursts of protection

Hands outstretched,

but help is not needed

just my company desired

my smile, my being

Please reach out to me

For I don’t recognise you …

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Abeyance

A Male Angel On Patrol by farconville courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

A Male Angel On Patrol by farconville courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Weariness strangles me

The thief of time delights

Another day of ill achievement

the waiting list shelved

so the demon conscience mocks

Prompting the angel wings to spread

The span high and wide

Serenity and encouragement step forth

  and so I remove the noose

  threatening to choke me

My failings laid bare

My fears eschewed

For now at least …

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Mortal Saviour

Texture of Sand by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Texture of Sand by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

In my rush to find you
Are you standing right before me?
Will your energies yield to mine when we meet?
Will the depth of your eyes melt my armour?
Your gaze transcend our surroundings?
Lifting me from this desolate space
where day moulds to day
and the lists grow longer
Responsibilities suffocating
Aspirations contracting
Guilt and selfishness consuming
Where are you, my love?

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Anticipatory mantra

Balancing Zen Stones In Water by Master isolated images courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Balancing Zen Stones In Water by Master isolated images courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

I know not of the feel of a partner’s arms

the security and serenity of another’s love

I know not of beautified glances

the pleasurable allure of someone entranced

I care not for the material

the matter borne from money

I seek the vibrancy of a transcendent connection

the attraction and root pull of the core

I yearn not to wait,

not to know,

only to live

Keep the fire burning

and acknowledge the flicker of a new dawn

Embrace the deliverance

of inner peace

© mypastmademe.com 2014

Abundant Gifts

Pink Cosmos Flower Close Up by criminalatt courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Pink Cosmos Flower Close Up by criminalatt courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To speak of the beauty of a flower

swaying in a breeze

is to breathe the essence

of everything I think I am.

To wonder at a branch

adorned with buds

is to recognise hope

proffered by the future.

To stop and marvel,

be thankful for all that is

must be my goal.

Forgetting ego,

diminishing others’ judgements

… save for those I love.

© mypastmademe.com 2014

Deletion of Fear

 

Sailing The Memory Stock Photo by sattva courtesy of www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sailing The Memory Stock Photo by sattva courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Inscriptions of rejection are dissolved

The passage of time has healed the wounds

I stand alone, determining my direction

I want to eliminate my past

folding the lessons within

It is hard to keep the walls down

resist the urge to protect

Fear of being hurt again collides

with the courage to reveal myself

The time has come to open the gates

and let someone in.

© mypastmademe.com 2014

Angelic Inspiration

 

Golden Angel On White image courtesy of artur84 at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Golden Angel On White image courtesy of artur84 at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Nearly a year has passed

An arch of time

an ache within many hearts

Enveloped in reminders

thoughts left unsaid

Your smile steering me

your will inspiring

These things are decided

events which cannot be undone

Tears still flow

and you are still not here

I ask for help

in believing that you are.

© mypastmademe.com 2014