Futile rupture

Broken Heart Sign, Loss Of Love Concept by cuteimage

Broken Heart Sign, Loss Of Love Concept by cuteimage courtesy of http://www.FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have waded through problems

Trudged forwards

for years

Shining at times,

illuminated by my determination

Gilded with hope for a future

without pain

Buried my love for you

shielded my heart

bound it tightly

… so even those 3 words

couldn’t break it open

Then one morning

the phone call

And my heart shattered.

The love ruptured

pouring from the depths of my being

with nowhere to go

Such a blind, selfish fool

I was

Now wracked with guilt

Ravaged by regret

You were my beacon all along

My love.

My soulmate.

My loss.

©mypastmademe.com 2016

Advertisements

Fatal Recognition

Images bombard me,

plumes of butterflies

whenever I see

your beautiful face

All day long

The fear evaporated,

obstacles pushed away

knowing the inevitable truth

Drinking in every encounter,

awash with certainty

Breathless with anticipation

I yield.

© mypastmademe.com 2015

Entranced

The energy has shifted,

my defences down,

revealing something of my true self.

Finally.

I am alive when I think of you,

yearning to lay beside you,

listen to the story of your life,

soothed by the lilt of your voice,

transfixed by those amber eyes,

lifted by the strength emanating from you,

protected in a way I have never known before.

You still and awaken me

simultaneously.

I am left powerless,

the allure enveloping,

the endearment of your quiet vulnerability

consuming.

It is only a matter of time

and I no longer wish to run.

© mypastmademe.com 2015

 

 

 

One Fine Day.

Reed by Vlado courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Reed by Vlado courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

As I sit here now

do the stars glint for me?

Shimmer their beauty

The dead night lit by diamonds

Blackness that once matched my heart

My beat, my soul

glows with love

Time shifts, a chasm before me

To step back to yesterday

A world whiled away in an instant

Or to bend … a reed folding into tomorrow

‘Tis hardest staying still

Fixed in my disillusions

Battling the desire

to have someone by my side

A protector, lover of life

of me

Arms will wrap around me

reassurance will envelop again

This purgatory will dissolve

and stoke the fires of passion

nurture that which was once broken

One fine day.

 

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Pinball denial

Standing Out Metallic Balls Shows Leadership by Stuart Miles courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Standing Out Metallic Balls Shows Leadership by Stuart Miles courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

You filter in and out of my dreams

Soft-focus images just beyond my grasp

The signs I asked for only confused

A metal ball rolling around

I smack against the hard walls

crack my armour, bruise my core

Was the visual image misleading?

Seeking external perfection

when really the gold lies within,

the shining heart

shafts of truth and loyalty

bursts of protection

Hands outstretched,

but help is not needed

just my company desired

my smile, my being

Please reach out to me

For I don’t recognise you …

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014

Mortal Saviour

Texture of Sand by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

Texture of Sand by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

In my rush to find you
Are you standing right before me?
Will your energies yield to mine when we meet?
Will the depth of your eyes melt my armour?
Your gaze transcend our surroundings?
Lifting me from this desolate space
where day moulds to day
and the lists grow longer
Responsibilities suffocating
Aspirations contracting
Guilt and selfishness consuming
Where are you, my love?

(Written in 2012)
© mypastmademe.com 2014